Little Piano Star

Lest we forget to post... Here is Sarah Lynn's latest piano recital. She's a star!! :) http://youtu.be/0Mq-Mrtjtys

Remember when...

I told you about Cora's silly tongue tricks?! I finally uploaded to YouTube... http://youtu.be/cs6-n22HO9Y

1 year ... and then some

Ok, ok, I AM A SLACKER!! It's been way too long - AGAIN - since I've written. To further the slackery, I still have emails in my inbox from two months ago that I haven't even opened. I am so ashamed, but... I think, by now, you all get (hopefully) that it's just the way I am and I hope no one is hurt or offended by my way belated - oh - everything. Haha This isn't going to be a long post, I just really wanted to share photos from my sweet little angels 1 year photo shoot. If you want to see the cutest pictures EVER, visit www.ashleyreecephotography.com and click on “client” in the menu. The password is cora. She was a total ham while taking these. The rocking chair and the crate were props just to try to get her to stay put. Her newfound freedom of walking keeps that girl - and me - in constant motion. She can "go, go, go." (That's what Sarahs little "Go, Go Pets" say when you set them off and running and we say it all the time to Cora Jane.) Just a few fun things to mark Cora's first year: Her favorite ASL signs are "please," "all done," "milk," and "more." She cannot get enough of saying "daddy" and she LOVE, LOVE, LOVES to follow her big sister, Sarah, EVERYWHERE. She knows she is an accomplished pianist, just like her sister and she loves to sit at the "big girl desk" and dictate to me everything that needs to be done or color with the crayons. She, almost literally, sings for her breakfast -- she sits in her high chair and sings, sings, sings. She loves to walk around the house with either carrot or celery sticks, just munching, sucking and, usually, making a funny sort of a mess everywhere. She LOVES her "baby bath" and loves to play in the water and loves to drink the "dirt butt water." (giggle) She continues to "hum" herself to sleep and talk and sing as soon as she wakes. Her "lovey lamb" is the protector of the "suckies," which she "gently" throws at him at the end of every nap. If you say the word "walk" and you don't mean "go outside," you are in BIG trouble. She loves to walk ANYWHERE and she loves to play in the grass, but she HATES to get in her car seat or her stroller -- until we really get rolling. She loves to make the sounds of different animals, like the elephant, dog and, especially, the monkey -- she had SO much fun seeing all the animals at the zoo a couple weeks ago and making all the sounds with them. She is kind of like a puppy at scripture time - she likes to help daddy to get the scriptures (she'd do it on her own if they weren't SO heavy!!) and at prayer time she folds her hands and waits for the "Amen." Although she is quite stubborn, even "yelling" at me sometimes when she doesn't get her way, she continues to be such a blessing and such a source of silly and happy and giggly times. She wanted nothing to do with her birthday cupcake; just looked at us all like we'd lost our minds that we hadn't just given her carrots. haha (She did, however, try to grab the candle.) Unwrapping birthday and Christmas presents was fun - it kind of lasted all day, because she would finally rip into one thing, play with it for quite a while and then when she was ready to move on, she had another one to open - this was quite agonizing for Sarah, who just wanted to "help" her open them all right away! She is so hard to get a picture of these days because, like I said, she is always on the go, go - most from her actual "birth day" were so blurry, but this one worked out okay.

And this was the "four generations of CJ" at Thanksgiving:

And here's my carry-on for the airplane:

and... so shoot me, this post turned out A LOT longer than I thought it would. Oh well. Hope you enjoy!

Believe it or not

This is not "Fail Blog"... this is: http://failblog.org/ But my life, as a mother, quite often makes me feel like I should be writing my own fail blog... I wonder, just because I let Cora wander around the mushy, wet and yet crunchy back yard, munching on weeds, rocks and "Mr. Cat" that Sarah sculpted out of mud, does this make me a bad mom? I wonder, just because sometimes I feed Cora funny foods that she gags on and subsequently pukes up that and the rest of her meal, does that make me a bad mom? And then I forget that I'm supposed to make dinner because I'm washing up the puke covered child, trying to keep her out of the puke I haven't been able to clean off the floor yet and trying to steer Sarah in a positive direction other than arguing with me for the millionth time, does that make me a bad mom? I wonder, just because I tell Sarah I'll tell her when her piano practice is up (she practices for 30 minutes every day) and I forget that it's now been an hour, does that make me a bad mom? I wonder why I just can't remember why I don't plug that Febreeze in where Cora can get it -- maybe it's because she finds it EVERY TIME and pulls it out of the socket and leaks scented oil all over herself and it takes a day for the smell to wear off her and me, regardless of how many times we wash... Does that make me a bad mom? None of these things probably make me a bad mom, it's just so hard sometimes not to feel like I'm failing at my ONE JOB. I mean, if I walked back into teaching I couldn't get away with letting kids wander around and do what they please without me watching, I couldn't get away with making a kid puke, I couldn't get away with forgetting how long a lesson is supposed to be, I couldn't get away with not getting the kids to lunch, I couldn't get away with having potentially harmful substances being tampered with... Seriously, I FEEL LIKE A BAD MOM! BUT, I do feel better when I think: My kids are happy and healthy. They wear clean clothes every day - whether they want to or not - they get feed, they get loved, and they get sleep. We try our best to teach proper principles and we try even harder just to love our girls. I can't really be that bad of a mom as long as I am loving my girls and, as Sarah says "just trying to do my best."

BFF

I made a new friend. Her name is Julie. She lives down the street from me, was a nanny "for like ever" like me and she has a sweet little baby girl like me and she is expecting another little one soon... NOT like me at all!! Haha :) Now maybe Lawton won't be so lonely. I was really singing the blues, feeling so alone, so forgotten and so isolated. I told Christian I found a new BFF and he just laughed. (We like to joke about things like BFF and OMG and LOL and all those little sayings.) Hooray for my new BFF!! Hooray for Julie. **Julie, I promise I'm not a crazy stalker for blogging about you** Please don't be scared and run away. I'm just so happy to have a friend. :) (and... this picture just made me giggle because i love bananas and i'm obsessed with monkeys... and it's just cute. it was either this one or a spongebob picture... but that's too typical of me, so i chose this one.)

Nerd Alert/True Confessions of Clarissa Jane/Cora is the Saving Angel

So the post I've been thinking about... This is either going to super nerd alert Christian and me or you are all going to think we are totally stinkin' awesome or maybe just completely normal -- I guess it depends on how "nerdy" you may be. ;) For about a month off and on, Christian and I were watching bits of the extended versions of The Lord of the Rings, or LOTR (which you only call it that if you are SUPER cool!). The night that we FINALLY finished the end of The Return of the King I dreamed over and over about the end of the world. Seriously, it was quite distressing. Everything was in ruins. Everything was dark. There was nothing, but ash and rubble and fire. (Now the really good thing is that I'm not pregnant, so these dreams weren't crazy-real and I wasn't terrified that they were coming true, so my poor husband did not have to wake me up and save me -- he had to do that plenty of times while I was pregnant.) So, I'd be running around just trying to find my way to somewhere safe and then... BUM BUM... I'd find this:

A sweet, sleeping baby... Then I'd tickle her little belly and I'd see this:

A super cutie, giggly baby... And suddenly, the sun would be shining, the sky would be blue, the grass would be green and then everyone I loved would come running to us. Seriously, my baby girl is an angel. She makes me so happy and my dreams prove it.

Me and my girl. I love her sooooooo much!! Oh... and just for an extra giggle...

No good on a plumber, but super cute on a baby. Giggle. Giggle. :)

Cora Has A New Trick

So, I actually have a grand scheme in my head about a post I want to make, but Cora's new trick (as of this weekend) is kind of trumping it! **So maybe I'll write the other one tomorrow night** I suspect this funny new thing has something to do with a visit from a certain Aunt whom Cora adores!! She was so cranky the day after Auntie Charly left us... But anyway, all weekend and into this week she has been up to... THIS:

and THIS:

I have no idea why she is suddenly hanging her tongue out like a puppy, but it is so darn cute! And so funny! She sometimes even makes that "nmnmnmwahhhhhh" sound while she's doing it. It has us rolling while we were trying to catch it in a picture -- she started to laugh too:

I would post the funny video of it, but I have no idea how to do that... anyone want to offer their assistance?? :) In the meantime, we'll just keep giggling at the trick ourselves. She is such a goofy, happy, giggly baby and OH SO LOVEABLE!!

"Baby Blue"

So, I just had to post about my baby girls blue, BLUE eyes. Not joking AT ALL when I say everywhere we go people are commenting on how gorgeous she is and "Oh, those eyes!! Those are the bluest eyes I've ever seen!" It's true. Cora Jane has the clearest and bluest eyes I'VE ever seen. I keep telling everyone she gets them from her Aunt Amber because neither Christian nor I have blue eyes. I'm always singing to her the song from George Strait: "Baby blue was the color of her eyes, Baby blue, like the Colorado skies..." I've even YouTubed it and played it for her -- she loves it. I think she knows it's her song. :) So, just to prove it... here are some "Baby Blues" for you.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea, and what pictures would I post next time if I use them all up now?! ;)

As promised...

Although I am not certain that my "demands" were exactly met, I will write a blog post for those of you who may actually care...


I tell you, it is really hard being way out here in the middle of nowheresville, out in the middle of idontknowanyonehereville. I seriously need a life. And I am in need of some friends. I miss all my "old" friends.

I am aching for Amber and Mike and the kiddos. I want to play with my LoLo. And then there's Bekah, and VonTana... TayTay... Lani... Kira... Roonnate... Nora... Evey... And I know I'm not naming everyone, but those are just to name a few... I just feel so out of place not having someone close by. Its been so long since I've been so on my own. Yes, yes, I have Christian and my girls, but it's somehow just not the same. It doesn't make it easier that I just feel so lame. I've gained about ten pounds since moving here; not because I'm eating tasty foods of anything, just because I'm being a fatty. I mean, come on, there are two Sonics (pretty much my favorite place!!) in town and I've only gone there ONCE -- and that was today!(If you know anything about me, that's pretty much a big deal.)

But besides feeling lame and fat and all alone, life is pretty good here. giggle

Our house is great. It is so comfortable and so NOT connected to another house!! haha I love that we only hear our own noise within these walls. :) We have a great amount of space and I was pretty much unpacked within a few days -- just had to wait to get a bookcase to empty out my books; that wait about killed me!

Cora is just growing and growing and GOING and GOING! She is trying to walk... it's the greatest thing to see her zoom all over the house in her little walker -- and I'm telling you, she can go!! She is fast!! She loves to chase and be chased. She turned 9 months today and she is, officially, still my little peanut -- we still haven't hit 17 pounds. BUT what she lacks in weight, she makes up in fun! Everywhere we go people fall in love with her and her blue, blue eyes. She is a ham and really gets to talking. And yes, I am "Mum Mum" and I love it!!

Sarah had an awesome summer visiting everyone in the family and now she is settling into third grade. She loves Hugh Bish, she loves being a Knight and she LOVES Mrs. Shippers third grade class. That girl loves school -- now if only I could get her to love doing her chores. ;) Oh, and she is getting SO amazing at the piano. We got her another outstanding piano teacher, who also happens to be her music teacher at school. Her is really challenging her and pushing her and she isn't even fighting back! It's so much fun to listen to her play.

Ok... that is all I am going to write for now. I'm going to leave a little out in order to have more to write later. Haha... I know, it's killing you!! You'll just have to wait for a little update on Christian. (He's LOVING Lawton, by the way.)

Pictures below are of the front room and kitchen/dining areas.
More to come... hopefully soon?!!? Who knows.

I am lame

Just throwing that out there!

I should totally write here...

I'm sure I have something to say...

Hands

Little baby hands.
Little Cora Jane hands.
I was up all night "dealing" with those cutie hands.
The above picture shows you how sweet these hands are and the below picture shows you where these cutie hands and delicious fingers like to be.

Cora, from day one, has been a finger sucker. In the hospital, mom (meaning, grandma) had to let Cora suck on her finger so I could get some sleep. This girl has always hated being swaddled because she can't get to her fingers. Even when she is swaddled, no matter how well it is done or what kind of amazing wrap I've used, she finds a way out. This really wouldn't be a problem if she didn't get so mad when she couldn't keep her fingers in her mouth, or when she punches herself in the nose! She is my little Houdini and I love the fun little struggle -- amazingly, even when it keeps me up all night.

Even when feeding,she gets distracted by her hands! Christian laughs because she is always reaching up and grabbing my face, seeming to say "are you up there mommy?!" Then her other hand is always wandering around by my side. Quite often it will "suddenly" cross her view and she'll either stare at it and go cross-eyed or even switch what she is sucking on and pop it in her mouth! Feeding time is full of entertainment as long as Cora Jane's hands are around! :)

Her new fun thing is so funny. The last few weeks she been grabbing toys and shoving them straight into her mouth, and now she has started to grab my face and do the same thing. I've had a few really good laughs, especially when she gets a good grab and starts to suck on my chin. It's hilarious to see (and listen to) her suck on washcloths in the bathtub, her monkeys, her elephant, her blankets, her burpies -- anything this girl can grab, she sucks!

My grandpas favorite story to tell about me involved my own hands and this same type of struggle. Apparently, when I was small, if I had my hands free during naptime I wouldn't go to sleep. He would tell me that he would wake up and find me playing with my hands, doing dances, talking, making puppets, and generally, just having a grand time. Now, I get to see this first-hand with my own baby girl.

Long time

I keep looking at my blog and thinking it has been far too long since I've have written -- I keep looking at my journal and think the same thing. I am totally bummed that I haven't documented life better lately.

I haven't even blogged ONCE about my beautiful Cora Jane (born December 09, 2010). I haven't even told the world how delicious she is. I haven't even told everyone how "Baby Wise" saves lives! :) I haven't even posted pictures or told stories or shared my joys and frustrations.

I want to change that. Today. Right now, so... here goes...


(This is me and my Cora Jane, not too long after she FINALLY came out.)

I don't want to go into all the hairy details of labor and delivery right now, just saying that Cora Jane was a week late and then STILL didn't want to come out after 22 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing says just about enough. The doctor finally grabbed baby girl by the head and pulled!! :)

I've never seen anything so precious, so tiny and so wonderful.

Stay tuned... I promise to write more again soon... for now, Christian keeps saying "awhh..." and teasing me. I guess I should give him some attention... (gee, I wonder why I never write anymore...)

The Reason

Yesterday while taking a walk, my very favorite song started to play on my ipod and I almost started to cry. Why would I cry over A SONG? This is why:

I'm sure you can imagine the struggle I face each day. Being pregnant. Being still some-what newly married. Being a still some-what new mom. Somedays I just wish I could stay in bed, hidden far beneath my blankets. Somedays I wonder why I wake up at all. Somedays I wonder what I have done with my life and why I deserve what I've got - good or bad.

It's on those days that my favorite song beautifully reminds me. Love. Love is why I am doing what I am doing. Love. Love is why I am where I am. Love. Love is why I breathe in and breathe out.


I may have done this before, but I'm going to share the lyrics of this song, the main title of my blog; a song beautifully sung by David Phelps:

It’s the only thing worth life and death.
It’s the first moment and the final breath.
It’s a broken heart keeping a solemn vow
And a lost soul being found.
You pray for faith when it’s hard to believe.
You choose to stay when it’s easy to leave
And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.

That’s what love is
When you give until there’s nothing left
And it makes you give the very best.
That’s what love is.
It can make you laugh and make you cry.
It can let you down and lift you up so high
When you find the only reason left to live.
That’s what love is.

It’s the dream you give up for someone else.
It’s being strong when you’re weak yourself.
Though it tears you up you trust again.
Hatred loses and forgiveness wins.
You turn your cheek when you want to fight.
Sell all you have and lay down your life
And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.


It’s reaching out and holding on so someone else will know.
Love is in the not letting go.

Love. Love is why I'll never let go.

Day in and Day out

My life is all too exciting, which why I hardly ever find myself posting on this blog which I created because I never seem to run out of things to say...
I think it's due, in part, to having a seven-year-old who HONESTLY never runs out of things to say. I think I just get tired of language by the end of the day. :)

But, today, I thought I would share the excitement that is my life right now - one snap-shot at a time:

Daily diet



Breakfast


Lunch


Dinner



Just thinking about my thrilling dietary choices excites me to the point of vomiting - or is that the morning/afternoon/night sickness that has yet to GO AWAY!?! Everyone, excepting Christian, has been very helpful in encouraging me on by telling me that at 13/14/15 weeks it should subside and I should start feeling better soon. Christian, on the other hand, loves to tell me I only have 9 1/2 more months of feeling this way. My rebuff: Well, he better get real attached to this one, because it will be his last if he thinks I'll put up with feeling this way for an entire pregnancy+.
Now, I'll go in for another blood-test tomorrow and see if all this nonsense is actually doing me any good.

Anybody want a peanut?

That's Christian's and my new line for our "little peanut." (If you don't already know, that's a line from "Princess Bride." "Everyone, stop rhyming, I mean it!... Anyone want a peanut?" Makes me laugh every time and we are always quoting that movie.) I can already tell he's going to be cute!! Even the doctor said so. :) tee hee



It made it a little more real to see something going on in there; definitely more real when the doctor pointed out the heartbeat and ABSOLUTELY more real when I saw Christian's eyes light up and then get a little excited when we saw our peanut for the first time. Just may have been the best moment of my life so far.

I was borderline afraid that I was having a "hysterical pregnancy" and just having all these nasty symptoms because I'm a freak of nature, but I am so happy to know that this has all been real. It's a big relief to know that it's all for a purpose and a reason. Now... I'll just gear up for the first trimester to be over; for my "morning" sickness that lasts all day, every day to be gone! I hope this doesn't mean I'll have to give up my afternoon naps... I've so enjoyed those! Although, I certainly won't complain if I just have some energy to do something other than sit on my couch and watch Bones, Law & Order and Chelsey Lately all day. Haha.

Maybe I'll make it in good with Denise Austin again so I stay on my weight gaining track. So far, so good. I never thought I'd hear it, but the doctor said I'm starting out at a really healthy weight and they'd "like to see me gain between 20 and 25 pounds." Well, it's a good thing I just lost all that weight, so I can just pick it up and find it again. Haha. Oh well.

THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. :)

Vicious Cycle

So, it turns out I'm a bit anemic. Boo. This means I have to take iron and vitamin c pills. What?! For reals?!

Oh, and these pills will probably bug my stomach and make me constipated. Oh, like I haven't already been suffering with both of those!!

Gee, I can't wait for all of these wonderful feelings to be compounded.

The problem here is that I don't really like all the things that would help me solve my issues naturally. I like spinach and broccoli, but not in large amounts and not all the time. I can handle to eat a prune or two without tossing my cookies (of course, that's when I'm not pregnant, so who knows now...).

The bigger problem here is I'm consistently sick to my stomach. They say eating helps. Sure, for about five minutes and then the burping begins and that makes my tummy even more sad. Oh, and I never feel like eating anything that is particularly good for me, so I'm not even really enjoying what I do eat.

I stare at my plate for about five minutes before diving in and deciding, yes, in fact it would be a good idea to eat. Especially so I can take my vitamins that want to destroy me if I don't have enough food on my stomach. But then if I eat too much my stomach wants to destroy me...

Do you see the vicious, ugly, horrible, terrible, awful, super over-dramatic (*giggle*) cycle?? Bad tummy, bad!

Christian said the other day, "Babe I'm so sorry you're not feeling well." My response?! "I'm not! Baby, WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!"

So, I guess that makes this all worth it. Nasty stomach, sleepy head, burping and drooling all together. (I feel like the first trimester is for a woman to understand what her poor baby is going to feel like for the first part of his life -- he's going to have a hungry tummy all the time; he'll be a super sleepy head so that will make it hard to eat as much as he wants to fill his achy belly; he'll be burping a lot although, it may be easy or hard; and baby's do a lot of droolin'.) :)

That explains the drooling...

So embarrassing, I've been drooling a lot when I am about to fall asleep and couldn't figure out what the problem was. Now, anyone who knows me knows I've been prone to drool ON OCCASION, but this has been happening A LOT. So, anyway, this made me laugh:

"Your mouth may be feeling the effects of pregnancy, too. Raised levels of hormones lead to swollen—and sometimes bleeding—gums. But another symptom is bizarre and so far unexplained: Many pregnant women experience increased saliva—spit. Gum or breath mints may help you dry out a little bit, but delivering your baby is the only real cure."

-- found on http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/trimesters/week/article/5th-week-pregnancy-pg3


More funny antidotes coming soon, I can feel it.

Signed,
Still sleepy

I peed on a stick and it's confirmed.

Uh, so... We're going to have a baby AND It's really a lot more exciting to me than I am making it sound.

I found out two days ago and I am really happy about it. Christian (and, now, Sarah) keeps telling me we're going to have triplets. The twins I used to watch said we'll have twins - it's only fitting. I'm fine with taking it one at a time. :)

Maybe the reason I don't sound too enthused right now is because I am
t. i. r. e. d.
Normal, I've come to understand. But I hate being tired. I tried to catch a few minutes on the fly today, but one of the twins I am currently watching has recently decided that napping (or sleeping, ever, for that matter) really isn't a need. If I put her in her bed she'll sit up and thump her head on the side of her crib, or lay down and kick her legs hard enough to move the crib across the room. It's wild! She's wild! and she's driving me wild! ;)

So, honestly, 100%, I am excited to be pregnant. I am excited to have a baby. I am excited to be a mom (again). But I am not so excited about the tired, crabby, and not feeling great thing. I want to be happy and stress-free - I hear it's a much better way to have a happy and care-free baby. Here's hopin'!

Signed,
The one who IS really, really excited, but just can't fully express it at this moment. (Just thought I'd at least share the exciting news.)

Grosgrain: Shabby Apple Shakespeare Garden Dress GIVEAWAY!!!!

Grosgrain: Shabby Apple Shakespeare Garden Dress GIVEAWAY!!!!

What are the chances that I could win this dress? I have been SO obsessed with Shabby Apple for years...
I WANT it!! :)

Bitter Sweet

SO... my LoLo, my Love Face, My Rolito, My Lauren Maley is getting married on Saturday!! Yahoo!!! I am so excited for her. Jans is a great guy and she deserves the VERY best!

THAT is the sweet.

There is more sweet. My sister-in-law, Keri, is also getting married this weekend - Sunday, to be exact. We are so excited for her and Oren. They make a great couple and it makes us very happy to see them together.

More sweet. Love Face is getting married here in the beautiful Washington, DC temple. (Same place Christian and I were sealed.)

Still more sweet. Keri & Oren are getting married in a lovely place in Ohio.

The bitter. I have to miss one wedding. I have shed many tears knowing that I am missing my best friends wedding. I never imagined I would not be there in the sealing room as she looked across the alter to make sacred and eternal covenants with her one and only. I am so incredibly sad that I sit here crying just writing about it. I. Am. So. Sad. So. Sad.

BUT I am incredibly happy to go to Keri & Oren's wedding. We are so excited to see family and get to spend some time playing with them. We've missed them. I am so happy to spend a four-day weekend with my SuperSexyMan and my SuperSpunkyLynn. We are ready to have some fun.

So, in closing... Congratulations to Lauren & Jans and Congratulations to Keri & Oren.

(LoLo, I love you and I really wish I could be there. Luckily, for you, it will be such an amazing, special & exciting day you will hardly even realize that I am not there to share it with you. I am there in spirit, my friend. I will be thinking of you. Have an amazing time in Florida!!)