Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Believe it or not

This is not "Fail Blog"... this is: But my life, as a mother, quite often makes me feel like I should be writing my own fail blog... I wonder, just because I let Cora wander around the mushy, wet and yet crunchy back yard, munching on weeds, rocks and "Mr. Cat" that Sarah sculpted out of mud, does this make me a bad mom? I wonder, just because sometimes I feed Cora funny foods that she gags on and subsequently pukes up that and the rest of her meal, does that make me a bad mom? And then I forget that I'm supposed to make dinner because I'm washing up the puke covered child, trying to keep her out of the puke I haven't been able to clean off the floor yet and trying to steer Sarah in a positive direction other than arguing with me for the millionth time, does that make me a bad mom? I wonder, just because I tell Sarah I'll tell her when her piano practice is up (she practices for 30 minutes every day) and I forget that it's now been an hour, does that make me a bad mom? I wonder why I just can't remember why I don't plug that Febreeze in where Cora can get it -- maybe it's because she finds it EVERY TIME and pulls it out of the socket and leaks scented oil all over herself and it takes a day for the smell to wear off her and me, regardless of how many times we wash... Does that make me a bad mom? None of these things probably make me a bad mom, it's just so hard sometimes not to feel like I'm failing at my ONE JOB. I mean, if I walked back into teaching I couldn't get away with letting kids wander around and do what they please without me watching, I couldn't get away with making a kid puke, I couldn't get away with forgetting how long a lesson is supposed to be, I couldn't get away with not getting the kids to lunch, I couldn't get away with having potentially harmful substances being tampered with... Seriously, I FEEL LIKE A BAD MOM! BUT, I do feel better when I think: My kids are happy and healthy. They wear clean clothes every day - whether they want to or not - they get feed, they get loved, and they get sleep. We try our best to teach proper principles and we try even harder just to love our girls. I can't really be that bad of a mom as long as I am loving my girls and, as Sarah says "just trying to do my best."
So, maybe this is kind of like a fail blog, because I occasionally do really stupid stuff and royally screw up and sometimes just plain forget and "fail," but my life will go on. My kids will live - God willing - and we will continue to be a happy, loving family. And as a side note -- NOT A FAIL: we consistently got Cora to say "please" using sign language at the dinner table last night. This was, of course, after every "uh oh" when she dropped her book on the floor in order for daddy to pick it up. Christian doesn't usually play this game, but she did say please!! ;)
(This picture is a good example of where I find my baby girl when I haven't quite been watching her like I should... Bad mommy!)