I am lame

Just throwing that out there!

I should totally write here...

I'm sure I have something to say...

Hands

Little baby hands.
Little Cora Jane hands.
I was up all night "dealing" with those cutie hands.
The above picture shows you how sweet these hands are and the below picture shows you where these cutie hands and delicious fingers like to be.

Cora, from day one, has been a finger sucker. In the hospital, mom (meaning, grandma) had to let Cora suck on her finger so I could get some sleep. This girl has always hated being swaddled because she can't get to her fingers. Even when she is swaddled, no matter how well it is done or what kind of amazing wrap I've used, she finds a way out. This really wouldn't be a problem if she didn't get so mad when she couldn't keep her fingers in her mouth, or when she punches herself in the nose! She is my little Houdini and I love the fun little struggle -- amazingly, even when it keeps me up all night.

Even when feeding,she gets distracted by her hands! Christian laughs because she is always reaching up and grabbing my face, seeming to say "are you up there mommy?!" Then her other hand is always wandering around by my side. Quite often it will "suddenly" cross her view and she'll either stare at it and go cross-eyed or even switch what she is sucking on and pop it in her mouth! Feeding time is full of entertainment as long as Cora Jane's hands are around! :)

Her new fun thing is so funny. The last few weeks she been grabbing toys and shoving them straight into her mouth, and now she has started to grab my face and do the same thing. I've had a few really good laughs, especially when she gets a good grab and starts to suck on my chin. It's hilarious to see (and listen to) her suck on washcloths in the bathtub, her monkeys, her elephant, her blankets, her burpies -- anything this girl can grab, she sucks!

My grandpas favorite story to tell about me involved my own hands and this same type of struggle. Apparently, when I was small, if I had my hands free during naptime I wouldn't go to sleep. He would tell me that he would wake up and find me playing with my hands, doing dances, talking, making puppets, and generally, just having a grand time. Now, I get to see this first-hand with my own baby girl.

Long time

I keep looking at my blog and thinking it has been far too long since I've have written -- I keep looking at my journal and think the same thing. I am totally bummed that I haven't documented life better lately.

I haven't even blogged ONCE about my beautiful Cora Jane (born December 09, 2010). I haven't even told the world how delicious she is. I haven't even told everyone how "Baby Wise" saves lives! :) I haven't even posted pictures or told stories or shared my joys and frustrations.

I want to change that. Today. Right now, so... here goes...


(This is me and my Cora Jane, not too long after she FINALLY came out.)

I don't want to go into all the hairy details of labor and delivery right now, just saying that Cora Jane was a week late and then STILL didn't want to come out after 22 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing says just about enough. The doctor finally grabbed baby girl by the head and pulled!! :)

I've never seen anything so precious, so tiny and so wonderful.

Stay tuned... I promise to write more again soon... for now, Christian keeps saying "awhh..." and teasing me. I guess I should give him some attention... (gee, I wonder why I never write anymore...)

The Reason

Yesterday while taking a walk, my very favorite song started to play on my ipod and I almost started to cry. Why would I cry over A SONG? This is why:

I'm sure you can imagine the struggle I face each day. Being pregnant. Being still some-what newly married. Being a still some-what new mom. Somedays I just wish I could stay in bed, hidden far beneath my blankets. Somedays I wonder why I wake up at all. Somedays I wonder what I have done with my life and why I deserve what I've got - good or bad.

It's on those days that my favorite song beautifully reminds me. Love. Love is why I am doing what I am doing. Love. Love is why I am where I am. Love. Love is why I breathe in and breathe out.


I may have done this before, but I'm going to share the lyrics of this song, the main title of my blog; a song beautifully sung by David Phelps:

It’s the only thing worth life and death.
It’s the first moment and the final breath.
It’s a broken heart keeping a solemn vow
And a lost soul being found.
You pray for faith when it’s hard to believe.
You choose to stay when it’s easy to leave
And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.

That’s what love is
When you give until there’s nothing left
And it makes you give the very best.
That’s what love is.
It can make you laugh and make you cry.
It can let you down and lift you up so high
When you find the only reason left to live.
That’s what love is.

It’s the dream you give up for someone else.
It’s being strong when you’re weak yourself.
Though it tears you up you trust again.
Hatred loses and forgiveness wins.
You turn your cheek when you want to fight.
Sell all you have and lay down your life
And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.


It’s reaching out and holding on so someone else will know.
Love is in the not letting go.

Love. Love is why I'll never let go.

Day in and Day out

My life is all too exciting, which why I hardly ever find myself posting on this blog which I created because I never seem to run out of things to say...
I think it's due, in part, to having a seven-year-old who HONESTLY never runs out of things to say. I think I just get tired of language by the end of the day. :)

But, today, I thought I would share the excitement that is my life right now - one snap-shot at a time:

Daily diet



Breakfast


Lunch


Dinner



Just thinking about my thrilling dietary choices excites me to the point of vomiting - or is that the morning/afternoon/night sickness that has yet to GO AWAY!?! Everyone, excepting Christian, has been very helpful in encouraging me on by telling me that at 13/14/15 weeks it should subside and I should start feeling better soon. Christian, on the other hand, loves to tell me I only have 9 1/2 more months of feeling this way. My rebuff: Well, he better get real attached to this one, because it will be his last if he thinks I'll put up with feeling this way for an entire pregnancy+.
Now, I'll go in for another blood-test tomorrow and see if all this nonsense is actually doing me any good.

Anybody want a peanut?

That's Christian's and my new line for our "little peanut." (If you don't already know, that's a line from "Princess Bride." "Everyone, stop rhyming, I mean it!... Anyone want a peanut?" Makes me laugh every time and we are always quoting that movie.) I can already tell he's going to be cute!! Even the doctor said so. :) tee hee



It made it a little more real to see something going on in there; definitely more real when the doctor pointed out the heartbeat and ABSOLUTELY more real when I saw Christian's eyes light up and then get a little excited when we saw our peanut for the first time. Just may have been the best moment of my life so far.

I was borderline afraid that I was having a "hysterical pregnancy" and just having all these nasty symptoms because I'm a freak of nature, but I am so happy to know that this has all been real. It's a big relief to know that it's all for a purpose and a reason. Now... I'll just gear up for the first trimester to be over; for my "morning" sickness that lasts all day, every day to be gone! I hope this doesn't mean I'll have to give up my afternoon naps... I've so enjoyed those! Although, I certainly won't complain if I just have some energy to do something other than sit on my couch and watch Bones, Law & Order and Chelsey Lately all day. Haha.

Maybe I'll make it in good with Denise Austin again so I stay on my weight gaining track. So far, so good. I never thought I'd hear it, but the doctor said I'm starting out at a really healthy weight and they'd "like to see me gain between 20 and 25 pounds." Well, it's a good thing I just lost all that weight, so I can just pick it up and find it again. Haha. Oh well.

THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. :)

Vicious Cycle

So, it turns out I'm a bit anemic. Boo. This means I have to take iron and vitamin c pills. What?! For reals?!

Oh, and these pills will probably bug my stomach and make me constipated. Oh, like I haven't already been suffering with both of those!!

Gee, I can't wait for all of these wonderful feelings to be compounded.

The problem here is that I don't really like all the things that would help me solve my issues naturally. I like spinach and broccoli, but not in large amounts and not all the time. I can handle to eat a prune or two without tossing my cookies (of course, that's when I'm not pregnant, so who knows now...).

The bigger problem here is I'm consistently sick to my stomach. They say eating helps. Sure, for about five minutes and then the burping begins and that makes my tummy even more sad. Oh, and I never feel like eating anything that is particularly good for me, so I'm not even really enjoying what I do eat.

I stare at my plate for about five minutes before diving in and deciding, yes, in fact it would be a good idea to eat. Especially so I can take my vitamins that want to destroy me if I don't have enough food on my stomach. But then if I eat too much my stomach wants to destroy me...

Do you see the vicious, ugly, horrible, terrible, awful, super over-dramatic (*giggle*) cycle?? Bad tummy, bad!

Christian said the other day, "Babe I'm so sorry you're not feeling well." My response?! "I'm not! Baby, WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!"

So, I guess that makes this all worth it. Nasty stomach, sleepy head, burping and drooling all together. (I feel like the first trimester is for a woman to understand what her poor baby is going to feel like for the first part of his life -- he's going to have a hungry tummy all the time; he'll be a super sleepy head so that will make it hard to eat as much as he wants to fill his achy belly; he'll be burping a lot although, it may be easy or hard; and baby's do a lot of droolin'.) :)