Is this how motherhood feels? Honestly?
I was terrible at being single. I was terrible at trying to date. Now, somehow (heaven only knows), I snagged myself the most amazing man on the planet and I am terrible at being a wife. I am terrible at being a mother.
At least this is how I feel at 3:30 in the morning... and a six thirty in the morning, when I haven't slept at all during the night... and again at ten o'clock at night, when I am laying in bed wondering why I'm not sleeping...
Christian reassures me, probably 1000 times a day (poor guy, what has he gotten himself into?!), that I am doing great, that I am handling this drastic life-change so well; but that just doesn't satisfy this lingering feeling of inadequacy. It's not that I feel like I am failing, but I just have no idea who thought I could actually do this!!
Case in point:
I AM TERRIFIED OF THE COMING WEEK. Spring Break.
This is no nanny gig. When six o'clock rolls around and I have spent an entire day having a blast with a vibrant, spunky and energetic six-year old who has worn me completely into the ground, there is no handing her off to mom and dad and climbing into bed so I can have enough energy to fly kites, run around the lake, play tag and walk around museums the next day. I am mom. I am mom. I am mom.
I feel like this week is going to be my ultimate "mommy" test. If I mess up this week... I don't know what "messing up" would entail, but... I am terrified of whatever that may be!!
My friends, pray for me. Pray for unsuspecting Sarah Lynn. Pray for Christian, my oh-so supportive husband.
AND come play, if you can. We'd love for you to come by!