Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Terrified

Can I please just tell you how terrified I am of getting married?!

**Little disclaimer** I don't have ANY prospects of that predicament any time in the foreseeable future, but... maybe it's because I am so terrified. Seriously folks, I'm shakin' in my boots -- that is if I was wearing boots -- Seriously folks, I'm shakin' in my slippers. :)

Now, I'm used to telling people how I feel, I'm used to being a pretty on-the-surface kind of person, but this is not something I would usually shout from the roof-tops. But it needed to be said today. I don't know why. Maybe it's because all my old friends are seriously dating, engaged or married with like 50 kids and I'm... waiting, always waiting... NOT that I have a problem with that - as you can clearly see from the aforementioned statement :"terrified!!" Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am about to finish my 27th rotation around this sun (on Sunday) and I am pretty used to fending for myself, being by myself and acting entirely independently of someone else.

I like to say "I answer to no one." I just can't quite imagine having to account for how I spend my time to someone else (this is all excepting Heavenly Father, of course!!). I don't know how I feel about coming home and always having someone there. I SO enjoy my peace and quiet, my alone time. Believe me, if I could afford it, I would be living by myself and I would be loving it! (This is not to say that I don't adore my roommates - they are fabulous women who teach me a little every day how I could be a better person.) I can hardly even fathom having someone who wanted to spend enough time with me to really get to know all my idiosyncrasies -- I think maybe sometimes I am pretty whacked. Mostly, I am pretty balanced, but... Maybe I should stop, just in case some cute guy runs across this blog... Then I will seriously NEVER get married. I will just stay Aunt Issa, find a cottage by a mountain side and raise many cattle.


This posting will self-destruct in fifteen seconds...

2 comments:

brianne said...

marriage is different than an other type of relationship. I could see why you would be terrified but marriage is a great blessing when you find the RIGHT man to marry for YOU! Someone who understands what you need and how you need things. But one of the things you can learn from marriage is compromise! In marriage if you can serve your spouse and except service from your spouse you will do great. Also the only way to make any marriage the best it can be is by having Heavenly Father as the top priority in your marriage. Someone wonderful is waiting for you so don't close yourself off completely :) because it be about checking in with him, it will be about sharing what you have done for the day because you want to be a part of your spouses life. Love you!!

KaNdRa and JaReD said...

I would have to agree with the above statement especially the last 2 sentences. You will know when it's right because anytime you have something good...or bad happen, you think of that person and want to call and tell them right away. You will find being without them unbarable. You can also find that person who loves how independant you are and respects your space. Don't be terrified, you will know when it's right.Everything will fall into place and will feel natural, like you have known them your whole life.
I honestly don't know how your not married now. You are beautiful, smart, outgoing and irresistable!