The Reason

Yesterday while taking a walk, my very favorite song started to play on my ipod and I almost started to cry. Why would I cry over A SONG? This is why:

I'm sure you can imagine the struggle I face each day. Being pregnant. Being still some-what newly married. Being a still some-what new mom. Somedays I just wish I could stay in bed, hidden far beneath my blankets. Somedays I wonder why I wake up at all. Somedays I wonder what I have done with my life and why I deserve what I've got - good or bad.

It's on those days that my favorite song beautifully reminds me. Love. Love is why I am doing what I am doing. Love. Love is why I am where I am. Love. Love is why I breathe in and breathe out.


I may have done this before, but I'm going to share the lyrics of this song, the main title of my blog; a song beautifully sung by David Phelps:

It’s the only thing worth life and death.
It’s the first moment and the final breath.
It’s a broken heart keeping a solemn vow
And a lost soul being found.
You pray for faith when it’s hard to believe.
You choose to stay when it’s easy to leave
And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.

That’s what love is
When you give until there’s nothing left
And it makes you give the very best.
That’s what love is.
It can make you laugh and make you cry.
It can let you down and lift you up so high
When you find the only reason left to live.
That’s what love is.

It’s the dream you give up for someone else.
It’s being strong when you’re weak yourself.
Though it tears you up you trust again.
Hatred loses and forgiveness wins.
You turn your cheek when you want to fight.
Sell all you have and lay down your life
And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.


It’s reaching out and holding on so someone else will know.
Love is in the not letting go.

Love. Love is why I'll never let go.

Day in and Day out

My life is all too exciting, which why I hardly ever find myself posting on this blog which I created because I never seem to run out of things to say...
I think it's due, in part, to having a seven-year-old who HONESTLY never runs out of things to say. I think I just get tired of language by the end of the day. :)

But, today, I thought I would share the excitement that is my life right now - one snap-shot at a time:

Daily diet



Breakfast


Lunch


Dinner



Just thinking about my thrilling dietary choices excites me to the point of vomiting - or is that the morning/afternoon/night sickness that has yet to GO AWAY!?! Everyone, excepting Christian, has been very helpful in encouraging me on by telling me that at 13/14/15 weeks it should subside and I should start feeling better soon. Christian, on the other hand, loves to tell me I only have 9 1/2 more months of feeling this way. My rebuff: Well, he better get real attached to this one, because it will be his last if he thinks I'll put up with feeling this way for an entire pregnancy+.
Now, I'll go in for another blood-test tomorrow and see if all this nonsense is actually doing me any good.

Anybody want a peanut?

That's Christian's and my new line for our "little peanut." (If you don't already know, that's a line from "Princess Bride." "Everyone, stop rhyming, I mean it!... Anyone want a peanut?" Makes me laugh every time and we are always quoting that movie.) I can already tell he's going to be cute!! Even the doctor said so. :) tee hee



It made it a little more real to see something going on in there; definitely more real when the doctor pointed out the heartbeat and ABSOLUTELY more real when I saw Christian's eyes light up and then get a little excited when we saw our peanut for the first time. Just may have been the best moment of my life so far.

I was borderline afraid that I was having a "hysterical pregnancy" and just having all these nasty symptoms because I'm a freak of nature, but I am so happy to know that this has all been real. It's a big relief to know that it's all for a purpose and a reason. Now... I'll just gear up for the first trimester to be over; for my "morning" sickness that lasts all day, every day to be gone! I hope this doesn't mean I'll have to give up my afternoon naps... I've so enjoyed those! Although, I certainly won't complain if I just have some energy to do something other than sit on my couch and watch Bones, Law & Order and Chelsey Lately all day. Haha.

Maybe I'll make it in good with Denise Austin again so I stay on my weight gaining track. So far, so good. I never thought I'd hear it, but the doctor said I'm starting out at a really healthy weight and they'd "like to see me gain between 20 and 25 pounds." Well, it's a good thing I just lost all that weight, so I can just pick it up and find it again. Haha. Oh well.

THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. THIS IS ALL WORTH IT. :)

Vicious Cycle

So, it turns out I'm a bit anemic. Boo. This means I have to take iron and vitamin c pills. What?! For reals?!

Oh, and these pills will probably bug my stomach and make me constipated. Oh, like I haven't already been suffering with both of those!!

Gee, I can't wait for all of these wonderful feelings to be compounded.

The problem here is that I don't really like all the things that would help me solve my issues naturally. I like spinach and broccoli, but not in large amounts and not all the time. I can handle to eat a prune or two without tossing my cookies (of course, that's when I'm not pregnant, so who knows now...).

The bigger problem here is I'm consistently sick to my stomach. They say eating helps. Sure, for about five minutes and then the burping begins and that makes my tummy even more sad. Oh, and I never feel like eating anything that is particularly good for me, so I'm not even really enjoying what I do eat.

I stare at my plate for about five minutes before diving in and deciding, yes, in fact it would be a good idea to eat. Especially so I can take my vitamins that want to destroy me if I don't have enough food on my stomach. But then if I eat too much my stomach wants to destroy me...

Do you see the vicious, ugly, horrible, terrible, awful, super over-dramatic (*giggle*) cycle?? Bad tummy, bad!

Christian said the other day, "Babe I'm so sorry you're not feeling well." My response?! "I'm not! Baby, WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!"

So, I guess that makes this all worth it. Nasty stomach, sleepy head, burping and drooling all together. (I feel like the first trimester is for a woman to understand what her poor baby is going to feel like for the first part of his life -- he's going to have a hungry tummy all the time; he'll be a super sleepy head so that will make it hard to eat as much as he wants to fill his achy belly; he'll be burping a lot although, it may be easy or hard; and baby's do a lot of droolin'.) :)

That explains the drooling...

So embarrassing, I've been drooling a lot when I am about to fall asleep and couldn't figure out what the problem was. Now, anyone who knows me knows I've been prone to drool ON OCCASION, but this has been happening A LOT. So, anyway, this made me laugh:

"Your mouth may be feeling the effects of pregnancy, too. Raised levels of hormones lead to swollen—and sometimes bleeding—gums. But another symptom is bizarre and so far unexplained: Many pregnant women experience increased saliva—spit. Gum or breath mints may help you dry out a little bit, but delivering your baby is the only real cure."

-- found on http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/trimesters/week/article/5th-week-pregnancy-pg3


More funny antidotes coming soon, I can feel it.

Signed,
Still sleepy

I peed on a stick and it's confirmed.

Uh, so... We're going to have a baby AND It's really a lot more exciting to me than I am making it sound.

I found out two days ago and I am really happy about it. Christian (and, now, Sarah) keeps telling me we're going to have triplets. The twins I used to watch said we'll have twins - it's only fitting. I'm fine with taking it one at a time. :)

Maybe the reason I don't sound too enthused right now is because I am
t. i. r. e. d.
Normal, I've come to understand. But I hate being tired. I tried to catch a few minutes on the fly today, but one of the twins I am currently watching has recently decided that napping (or sleeping, ever, for that matter) really isn't a need. If I put her in her bed she'll sit up and thump her head on the side of her crib, or lay down and kick her legs hard enough to move the crib across the room. It's wild! She's wild! and she's driving me wild! ;)

So, honestly, 100%, I am excited to be pregnant. I am excited to have a baby. I am excited to be a mom (again). But I am not so excited about the tired, crabby, and not feeling great thing. I want to be happy and stress-free - I hear it's a much better way to have a happy and care-free baby. Here's hopin'!

Signed,
The one who IS really, really excited, but just can't fully express it at this moment. (Just thought I'd at least share the exciting news.)

Grosgrain: Shabby Apple Shakespeare Garden Dress GIVEAWAY!!!!

Grosgrain: Shabby Apple Shakespeare Garden Dress GIVEAWAY!!!!

What are the chances that I could win this dress? I have been SO obsessed with Shabby Apple for years...
I WANT it!! :)

Bitter Sweet

SO... my LoLo, my Love Face, My Rolito, My Lauren Maley is getting married on Saturday!! Yahoo!!! I am so excited for her. Jans is a great guy and she deserves the VERY best!

THAT is the sweet.

There is more sweet. My sister-in-law, Keri, is also getting married this weekend - Sunday, to be exact. We are so excited for her and Oren. They make a great couple and it makes us very happy to see them together.

More sweet. Love Face is getting married here in the beautiful Washington, DC temple. (Same place Christian and I were sealed.)

Still more sweet. Keri & Oren are getting married in a lovely place in Ohio.

The bitter. I have to miss one wedding. I have shed many tears knowing that I am missing my best friends wedding. I never imagined I would not be there in the sealing room as she looked across the alter to make sacred and eternal covenants with her one and only. I am so incredibly sad that I sit here crying just writing about it. I. Am. So. Sad. So. Sad.

BUT I am incredibly happy to go to Keri & Oren's wedding. We are so excited to see family and get to spend some time playing with them. We've missed them. I am so happy to spend a four-day weekend with my SuperSexyMan and my SuperSpunkyLynn. We are ready to have some fun.

So, in closing... Congratulations to Lauren & Jans and Congratulations to Keri & Oren.

(LoLo, I love you and I really wish I could be there. Luckily, for you, it will be such an amazing, special & exciting day you will hardly even realize that I am not there to share it with you. I am there in spirit, my friend. I will be thinking of you. Have an amazing time in Florida!!)

365 Days...

Happy Anniversary, to me and to my rockin' hot husband, Christian!

What a year it has been. It's been 365 days of learning. I've learned a lot about Christian, a lot about being a mom and A LOT about myself.

I really don't have a lot to say about all of it, but I thought such a "momentous occasion" called for a posting (it's been a while since my last one and I try to write when things are "BIG").

Christian and I went out yesterday to celebrate. He keeps teasing me by saying "I didn't think we'd make it this far." Now, this teasing comes because of me and my "crazy pills." We've laughed a lot about how ridiculous I can get every once in a while (say, monthly... heehee) and how emotional I am. Quite a few times I've just started crying at like ten o'clock at night and ask him if he thought we could actually do this marriage thing and if he actually loved me enough to put up with me all the time. So if I'm not being a complete, insane wreck, joking about my emotional imbalance is quite funny.

So... anyway, I'm pretty sure that was a pretty wide tangent... We went out yesterday to one of our favorite restaurants in DC, Potenza. This place is SO delicious!! I think it's the one restaurant that we pack our bellies full of amazing appetizers and entrees and then we still have to get dessert -- it's just too good to pass up. We really enjoyed our lunch and we even went boot and dress shopping; boots for the man, dress for me.

Ok... this is getting dry... ewww. So HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my handsome hubby! I love you my SuperSexyMan!!