I'm a thinker!

So... it's snowing MOUNTAINS outside. No joke! It's ridiculous. This is when I wish I lived somewhere tropical, where this could never happen!
I
do
not
appreciate
snow!
Especially in crazy amounts like this!

We would totally have been prepared for all of this snow if I wasn't such a thinker. Seriously, I thought I was being so rational this week while I was out shopping. I was browsing in the Target, looking through the snow pants, like I've been doing for the last couple of months. I said to myself "Self, go ahead. Buy them. She'll eventually need them." But then my "thinker" said "But who knows when it's actually going to snow. She'll grow out of them before she even gets to wear them. That's lame! Buy them when you know it's going to snow." So I put the pants back on the rack and moved on. Then I came to the snow boots. Same conversation... Then the snow shovels... same"ish" conversation...

If only I had paid any kind of attention to the weather, I would have known that we were expecting a huge snow storm this weekend. If only I wasn't such a thinker! haha

But we were going to fix my thinker problem. After the babies left last night we decided we'd head back over to the Target and get all that stuff before the first flake flew. I am not joking when I say it took us 45+ minutes for a usual 15 minute trip. (NO SNOW HAD FALLEN YET!!) To add to that, we got to the Target and it was bone dry! NO snow pants! NO boots! NO snow shovels! And NO Star Trek (that was going to be our consolation prize). We struck out! I STRUCK OUT! Why must I be such a thinker?! Boo.

Oh well. We got up this morning to snow. It has been snowing all day, non-stop. It's 5pm and there is no end in sight. I'm really hopeful the neighbor boy will stop by sometime tomorrow when it finally stops snowing and ask to shovel for us (we've been told he does that). I will tell you, I'm not going out for the next 48 hours. Anyone who wants me will just have to come to me.

Thank goodness I have everything I need here; one super hot man to keep me warm, one super spunky 7-year-old to keep me entertained and one container of peppermint hot chocolate (compliments of Eve) to keep me happy. Ah, maybe the snow isn't soooo bad.

(BTW the snowman is one my daddy and my nephew, Ammon, built a couple winters ago)

One Year Ago...

One year ago my life completely changed. I knew it had changed the moment that my heart about fell out of my chest and I heard this voice in my head say "This is it. You're done. Game over." I tried to shout back "Noooooooooooo..." But it was useless, the man I was about to go out to dinner with was going to be the man I spent the rest of eternity with. I knew it and now I was terrified to go through with it. But... luckily, I didn't turn back and now I will never turn back. Christian is my completion. We like to joke that we are each others density.
Due to the fact that I am looking so fondly on last year, I wanted to share a little thing I had been working on. Man! I really wish I had written more, but who knows?! I just might go back through and fill in all the gaps.
I titled this "The Story." Enjoy. I'll try to put some more details maybe in the next couple of weeks... AND... here it is...

The story.

Christian and I met about 4 years ago through his sister, one of my best friends, Amy. Amy was out here as a nanny for him and his wife, Holly, who was suffering with MS. Amy took me to her house and was showing me family photos. I immediately said “Who’s that?! Please tell me he’s not married!” She started to giggle and said, “That’s Christian. You know, Sarah’s dad?!” Sarah is Holly and Christians daughter. Being the kind of girl I am (a decent one), I signed him out of my head; afterall, he was a married man. Later that afternoon, Christian came home from school. He was in his psych rotation in medical school. I thought that was pretty interesting and we chatted about it for a bit. While generally chatting, Christian totally psycho-analyzed me. I thought it was pretty funny and it’s something I never forgot.
Now, years have gone by… Holly suffered much with her MS and was finally released from her pain and suffering. All along Amy had kept me in the loop as to what was going on with Christian, Holly and Sarah. When Amy thought Holly was going to pass, she was sure to call me and let me know what was going on. When Holly did finally go, Amy made sure I knew and my heart ached for dear Sarah… and, especially, Christian.
Bit of a side-note, Amy has always told me she thought that if Christian hadn’t met Holly he and I would have been perfect for each other. She has also been quite adamant that she and I were friends were for a greater purpose. I have always adored her; in fact, her marriage to Brad Hurst was the first sealing I’d ever witnessed in the temple. That was a wonderful experience, one that I shall never forget. At that time, I met the whole Schrader family. They were so good to me. I remember wishing there was one more son… some way for me to officially be family. ☺
Back to the story… While I was in Hawaii in November, Amy convinced me that I needed to become friends with Christian via Facebook. With pure intentions of getting him out, giving him someone to talk to or whatever, I accepted her challenge. It took some time after making the request for him to accept. Then he didn’t say anything, so I finally sent a message:

Me:
December 12 at 2:17pm

“so do you actually remember who i am or just take pity on the friend request?? or did you just figure "ah, she's friends with amy and keri, she can't be that wacko... within reason..."??”

His Reply:
December 13 at 11:09am

“I remember who you are. Also, I deal with wacko people everyday, so wacko facebook friends are just an extension of my normal job. ;)
Sorry about not being able to attend the movie night, I'm on call at the hospital a lot over the next few weeks to cover the holidays. Hope it goes well.”

Me:
December 13 at 4:02pm

“AH, it's ok. Not that I have any understanding of "on call," but... I understand. :)
We should, however, get together sometime over the holidays. I'll be here, you'll be here... Hot chocolate. Maybe a movie or Christmas lights...
P.S. I cannot believe how big Sarah is. She's so beautiful.”

Him:
December 14 at 7:07am

“You know what, I'd like that.
To fill you in, I'm a resident psychiatrist at Walter Reed. On call means I am at the hospital covering both our locked psych ward, the ER, taking consults from anyone in the hospital, and admitting them to our or other hospitals if need be.
I'm free on the 22nd after work (the earliest I've got open. This next week I am taking over a new ward and taking call twice so I'm swamped.) If you want, I'm an avid texter. Cell # 301*******.”

Him again:
December 14 at 7:12am

“Oh, BTW. Interesting blog.”

Me:
December 15 at 12:25pm

“you read my blog?? i guess you now know that i am certifiable... haha.
avid texter? i'm not sure i know anyone older that 16 who would admit to that...
"hi, my name is clarissa and i am an avid texter too."
i think i have more conversations over text messaging than i do face-to-face contact. :)
202-***-****. we can be texting buddies.”

Him: (this was in a thread titled “asking you out”)
December 14 at 7:46pm

“Hey, I know you mentioned wanting to get together sometime soon. 'Tis the season after all, to be merry and jolly and all that, and personally I really enjoy getting out and doing things.
My call and work schedule is a little hectic, and honestly, I don't know anything about what it takes for you to get into DC or when you are free. I can be free some days this week for a few hours after work (15th and 17th for something informal), earliest next week is the 22nd. I'm off 25th, 26th and open 27th until about 2-3pm (for something longer, or needing tickets).
Give me a heads up as to what your schedule is like so I can ask you out proper, and maybe get some tickets for something (sometimes good seating is still available a week out). There are a lot of shows I want to see, and would love some company. If you have any questions, you have my cell, or my hotmail is posted somewhere on my profile I think. I'm a pretty open person, so don't feel shy and just ask away.”

Me:
December 15 at 12:34pm

“It's not all that difficult for me to get into DC - I'm an old pro, afterall.
I'm definitely up for something next week. I'll just need a heads-up of some sort, myself, because I'll be at my sisters Christmas Eve/Day. You are welcome to come down and hang-out, if you'd like. We could maybe find something to do in the Richmond area?!
Let's chat, I'm sure we can figure it out - shouldn't be too difficult.
P.S. West Side Story opens up tonight -- and I figure if "Legally Blonde" was culture, then you're probably already dead-set on seeing this one. :)”

Him:
December 15 at 6:22pm

“West Side Story. You know that When you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day. I'm a Jet.
That sounds like fun too. So much fun, so little time.”

And then the “avid texting” began… if it were only possible to have saved all of those!! Now, THAT was fun!! We played “the question game” back and forth for more than a week and really learned a lot about each other. My very favorite question was the one I asked the day of our first date: “Your idea of the perfect crime.” His answer?? Too good! I about died of laughter!! Answer: “Stealing the perfect kiss.” HAHA. I still get a kick out of that one! And it took him a while to come up with it!! He is such an incredible flirt – I may have met my match!!

Now, on to the dating…
Dec 17th – Dinner
Dec 20th – Movie (“Yes man!”) and dessert (Ruby Tuesdays)
Dec 21st – Concert at V.C.
Dec 24th – Christmas Eve
Dec 25th – Christmas Day --- amazing walks & conversations
Dec 26th – “I Love You”
Dec 27th – Legally Blonde
Dec 29th – New Jeans (giggle)
Jan 1st – New Years Day w/Sarah --- “Clarissa Jane Baumann, I want you for time and all eternity.”
Jan 2nd – Ring shopping
Jan 4th – Dinner w/mom & Sarah
Jan 6th – Set a date & place (1st time)

more to come... maybe... ;)

WHAT are you doing?!

Ok, so it seems that I post only every few months or so. I fully intend to write more often, but I just seem to... seem to... find myself doing many, many other things. Blogging just doesn't seem to be on the top of my list.
So what have I been up to? Well... I have gone back to playing with babies all day. I thought those days were long gone until I started popping them out myself, but here I am again, back to my old antics. I am watching yet another set of twins. Caitlin and Mikeala are my little babies. I call Caitlin my monster and Mikeala my princess. They are so sweet and so much fun. They keep me busy all day and then Sarah Lynn comes home and loves to entertain them with her piano playing and reading them books. (She cannot wait to be a big sister someday!)
On top of these two, I have recently started watching another little one, Makenzie. She's super cute and very active. She loves to play with the twins and we all have a lot of fun together.
I just took a couple minutes out of napping time to write this and now I seem to have nothing else to say - but I know there is much more I should write about. I just may write again soon... We shall see...

I'm losing my mind!!

So I have to make a slight change to the last post --- a very sweet, dear and wonderful friend reminded me that I am ALREADY 27!!! haha. I guess that means I will be turning 28 soon, not 27 again (that is the way years go, I understand. Men can perpetually stay at 18, women never want to get over 30, but you cannot be 27 twice. Lame.). Not only does that mean am I SUCH a dork for that mess-up, but it means that I am getting really, REALLY old and, apparently, I have already lost my mind.

In addition, everyone has been texting or calling saying they had no idea we were moving. I kept wondering how everyone was finding out and thinking "My, how word travels... But who have I told?!" Well, another dear friend informed me that I posted that we were moving on my blog. And so I have. And that also posts on Facebook, which apparently people read. haha. So Linda, I guess I did post in on Facebook before I told you! I'm now wondering if I've even told my mother... which I probably haven't. Geez.

What else have I forgotten... Maybe when I find my brain I will remember.
For now.... oh, I forgot what I was going to write...
.....
.....
.....
.....

"Holy Crap!"

It's already October.
I'm going to say it again: "Holy Crap!!"
Where is the time going? Three months until 2010. Two months until we move to a new home. One month until I turn 27.
It's October and it's beautiful. I love having the windows open all day. I love seeing the leaves change. I love feeling the cool breeze. I love the feeling of seasons changing.
It's already October.
"Holy crap!" I LOVE IT!!

Downer of a day... sort of

It's rainy and cold. Blah.
I found out that I will not be getting paid for substituting the other day because the substitute office is whack. Boo.
I finally made it to give blood and my iron level was .1 too low. Lame.
I made plans with multiple friends today and either I messed them up or something else came up or they fell through. Shame.
BUT the husband is getting off early and we are going to the temple. Who needs sunshine, money, proper iron levels and friends (I don't really mean that, but it fits with what I am saying here) when one can go to the temple with ones husband?!
Seriously, life is so good.

Lost in Austen & My New Favorite Hottie

Just discovered a super fun film - Lost in Austen. If you love Pride and Prejudice you will love this movie. I laughed so hard. Christian said he enjoyed watching me watch it because he enjoyed how much it made me laugh. It's so full of wonderful things that you would never get unless you had, I don't know, maybe watched P&P religiously every week with one roommate or another (not that I know of anyone who may have done anything so girly, silly or hopelessly romantic).

Not only is the story brilliant, but it stars my new favorite hottie: check out Tom Riley. Just say "yum."

(warning: this was a mini-series so it is 3 hours. DO NOT expect husbands, boyfriends or any straight man to watch this with you.)

"Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho...

To 1st Grade we will go, to laugh and learn and play all day. Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho!!"

This was Sarah's Kindergarten graduation song and today was the first day of 1st Grade. She was SOOOO excited. She layed out her uniform on Saturday night. Friday she decided she wanted school to start on Saturday. She loves school and I love that she loves school! Her reading improved SO much this summer. She loves to read, but she does not like it when I tell her to go have 15 minutes of reading on her own. I will find her in her room sometimes, surrounded by books and she hates it if we don't have time to read a book at night before bedtime, but she "hates reading!!!" if Christian or I tell her to go read for her fifteen minutes that day. It's quite humorous, especially when she doesn't come back after her time in up because she's so engrossed in her book. We have to giggle.

Last night was humorous (and yet, not). She was "so, so, so excited for 1st Grade" and, almost literally, bouncing off the walls. Well, with all the energy she used getting all excited she was wasted by about 6:30 and could hardly make it through brushing her teeth to get ready for bed. She was beyond exhausted, poor girl. Then I had to wake her up this morning (NEVER HAPPENS) in order to get her ready and out the door in time to catch the bus -- she LOVES to ride the bus!!

Despite the tired night and the rushed morning Sarah Lynn had a great first day of 1st Grade. She was so excited to tell me about the hole in her desk where she gets to keep things (even I can remember the first desk I had to keep all my things in). She told Christian that there's a very nice boy in her class, but... she can't remember his name. I love to hear the things she has to report. Best of all, just after I've kissed her goodnight and called her my big 1st Grader and just as I'm leaving her room tonight she says "Mommy! 2nd." And I say "2nd??" And she replies, "Tomorrow is my 2nd day of 1st Grade. Goodnight mommy." Now, if that don't just make you smile. :)

I deem today

Taylor Swift Day.
Don't ask me. I hardly even know who this girl is. I have just had her music in my head all morning; now Christian and Sarah can deal with it too. (insert evil laugh)
I just love "Tear Drops on My Guitar" and "Love Story."
My guess is either Bekah or Nora gave me the songs that I actually own because I don't really have any idea where they came from. Thank you ladies for filling my head with bubbly, silly songs.
Any other Taylor Swift suggestions? These songs may get old fast... but then again, maybe that's a good thing! haha
(I am inserting a picture of her because I didn't even have any idea what she looked like before I decided to deem this her day, and holy cow, she is adorable!!)

Just a small change

So I don't know if it makes a difference, but I finally changed the email address associated with my blog - clarissaschrader@gmail.com

If you have a blog that I've already been reading or one that you haven't shared with me, can you send me that info so I can update it in my new blogger?

Thanks!

(2 posts in less than 24 hours. crazy!)

Can I have your PIANO when you are dead?!

So, it's officially been forever since I blogged and I have been getting so much flack for it. Sadly, my journal writing may even be further behind that. Now here I am writing just a quickie.
THE PIANO HAS ARRIVED, MY FRIENDS!!
Story goes something like this:
I grew up playing this piano, taking lessons here and there. I never really got all that good at it because, let's face it, like everything else, I just never applied myself. I really love playing the piano, it's practicing that comes so hard.
So, anyway... the joke has always been that I would get the piano when my mother died. SHE HAS NOT DIED, but I got the piano anyhow. I liked to tease my mom about "my piano" and now it really is mine. When the big fire rolled through Heber I only asked that my parents save "my piano!" tee hee I am such a brat, but being a brat apparently pays off - I think they just got sick of my whining (or they wanted to free up the space in the room where it lay dormant, begging for someone to stroke its keys every once in a while...)
Dad hauled it all the way out here from AZ in the back of the suburban, we suckered a couple friends into dragging it inside (Christian mutilated his arm in the process), I polished it up a bit, we're going to get it tuned and then I am going to attempt to teach Sarah how to play. And yes, I already ordered a Jim Brickman Easy Piano book for myself, thank you very much.

And now... I have blogged. I'll try to get back into this. I have so many great stories from this summer with Sarah - I'm sad I didn't share. School starts up again on Monday, so we'll see how much time I have on my hands whilst I BEG for someone to give me a job; I just want to teach the little rascals!!

Sometimes you just have to smile

(I am quite aware that my last post was a total downer, so I really wanted to share my smiles. First of all, thanks to everyone for your kind comments and awesome encouragement. We made it though Spring Break and, I think I can speak for Sarah Lynn as well, we actually had a really good time. I just might make it through this whole mom thing.)

I've been so very, very happy lately, so I just thought I'd share just a few of the things that really make me smile. (In no particular order)

1. One super spunky six-year-old who loves, loves, loves her new PINK cowgirl boots from her grandma. Who wears them with everything - including bright-striped tights and cutie little dresses. And having same six-year-old keep losing her teeth. I keep telling her she won't have any left. It's so funny to look at her cute, little gapped smile. She is probably my source of my biggest smiles and giggles. She, quite simply, keeps me rolling almost non-stop.
Her newest tricks? She's learning to blow bubbles with her gum and she has a pretty killer english accent. We have to play Harry Potter, sing the "Puppet Show" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4) and then pick and speak like all our characters. We have a grand time ol' chaps! It's so hilarious!!
2. Arrested Development. Watch it for 5 minutes and see if you don't just laugh until your face hurts.
3. Getting emails, blog comments, random phone calls or text messages or "friend requests" on Facebook from seemingly long-lost friends.
4. Having the warm sun spill across my face.
5. Knowing that no matter how crazy I may act, no matter how whacked I may seem, I have a husband who has dealt with people who are one thousand times more cooky than myself and he will always love, adore and take care of me.
6. Previews for 17again -- May I just say I love Zac Efron and I cannot wait to see this movie.
7. Realizing that all the laundry is washed, dried and put away. This REALLY makes me smile. tee hee
8. Looking at the picture on my phone -- it is currently a photo of my nephew, Caleb, with his tongue hanging out -- it's the funniest and cutest thing.
9. Just knowing that I am going to hear David Phelps again this weekend. Really, if you STILL have not heard him, you better!! (http://www.davidphelps.com)
10. Getting pumped for an awesome week of fun in AZ. Getting to see my family. Getting to see my friends. Having a BIG OL' Party with everyone I love.
11. And please don't forget, my favorite joke right now (it never seems to get old):
Q: "What does Snoop Dog use to get his whites their brightest?"
A: "Bleeee ach!"
**I'm giggling just writing this. hahahahhaha
My favorite part is when this really gets Christian and I talking "gangsta." It's the shizzle my dizzles. Oh, I am such a dork. But it's my bizaz. bah! ;)

100% inadequate, 100% of the time

Is this how motherhood feels? Honestly?
I was terrible at being single. I was terrible at trying to date. Now, somehow (heaven only knows), I snagged myself the most amazing man on the planet and I am terrible at being a wife. I am terrible at being a mother.
At least this is how I feel at 3:30 in the morning... and a six thirty in the morning, when I haven't slept at all during the night... and again at ten o'clock at night, when I am laying in bed wondering why I'm not sleeping...
Christian reassures me, probably 1000 times a day (poor guy, what has he gotten himself into?!), that I am doing great, that I am handling this drastic life-change so well; but that just doesn't satisfy this lingering feeling of inadequacy. It's not that I feel like I am failing, but I just have no idea who thought I could actually do this!!
Case in point:
I AM TERRIFIED OF THE COMING WEEK. Spring Break.
This is no nanny gig. When six o'clock rolls around and I have spent an entire day having a blast with a vibrant, spunky and energetic six-year old who has worn me completely into the ground, there is no handing her off to mom and dad and climbing into bed so I can have enough energy to fly kites, run around the lake, play tag and walk around museums the next day. I am mom. I am mom. I am mom.
I feel like this week is going to be my ultimate "mommy" test. If I mess up this week... I don't know what "messing up" would entail, but... I am terrified of whatever that may be!!
My friends, pray for me. Pray for unsuspecting Sarah Lynn. Pray for Christian, my oh-so supportive husband.
AND come play, if you can. We'd love for you to come by!

Some things just don't change

So... apparently if you can't sleep BEFORE you get married, most likely, you still won't be able to sleep AFTER you get married. (I'm sorry if I am stealing all the hope from you insomniac singles like I once was.) Now I'm just an insomniac wife and mother who wonders how she functions throughout the day and why she just can't sleep at night!!
(yes, notice the time of the posting... 3:30 AM. this sucks!)

Three weeks and two days

(that's how long we've been married)
I can't believe it! It feels, already, like we've been together for forever. Isn't that just sappy and disgusting?! I'm happy-go-pukey just thinking a out it!! :) tee hee

I can honestly say that I wake up in the morning sometimes and am amazed that Christian is actually laying in the bed next to me -- that this dream-like life is real -- that everything I could ever have hoped for, and more, is REAL.

Ok, so life had certainly changed for me. I no longer run every which way for a job, I run every which way for groceries and laundry and dishes and dinners. I make beds. I vacuum the floors. I clean bathrooms. I chase a six-year-old around and around. I am having a blast!! It certainly doesn't keep me on the go-go like my life used to, so that is something I'm learning to deal with. I feel like I have so much time that I have no time at all (doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it doesn't really have to). Some days I'm so good that I get all that done AND I take the time to work-out, read a book, write an email or two, call a friend, etc. Other days, I sit on my bottom, watch a movie (or two -- sue me!!), think of all the things I COULD/SHOULD be doing and laze around in my pj's saying "Get up CJ! Go work out! Go take a shower! You totally suck."

BUT there is hope on the horizon!! I got my clearance to be a substitute in PG County Public Schools (for this year) and had a killer interview with Montgomery County Public Schools for a full-time teaching job (for next year). I figure business may be a bit slow before Spring Break (which, by the way, is next week if you wanted to come visit and play with Sarah Lynn and me!!), but then teachers will get a taste of being at home and I'll get chances to be in the classroom. I'm excited!! Man, how I love being in the classroom! I really hadn't missed it much (so I thought) until I started getting things together for interviews and such. Now I can hardly wait.

Ok, enough of that... I've got laundry to do and HSM3 to watch... giggle.

We did it!!

We got hitched. I'll write more later, just wanted to share this little collage our fabulous photographer and friend, Erin Tolman, put together for us.

This was, hand down, the best day of my life. We had such a great time. Everyone who really wanted to be with us (and could) was with us - safe and happy.

I am so happy to be a wife and a mother. What a happy, happy life!!
Thanks to everyone for joining with us!!
Love, love, love.



"meow"

Long time comin'

It's been a while, yes. It's amazing the things I can find myself doing instead of writing or reading blogs. What are these things, you may ask?? Oh, I really don't know. Time is going by WAY fast and
THAT
IS
GOOD.
I don't think March 7th can get here fast enough. I am always whining about time going too fast, but here I am at 3:30 in the morning just wishing it were at least 6 (this is unthinkable!! i hate 6 a.m.!!). I can't sleep, so I figure I may as well be busy doing something...

A lot has changed (or not changed, I really don't know) since my last posting. I don't even know when that was...
I am still so incredibly in love with Christian that I can't even remember what is was like not loving him. It grows more every day and I am amazed that it's possible. I am so 100% ready to be a wife, a mother and an equal partner in, what I plan to be, the most fabulous life EVER!! Christian and I have decided that we are going to have a lot of fun together. He cracks me up with his dry humor and quick whit. I think I just make him laugh because I'm completely hopeless. How have I made it 27 years without him?? Who can tell?!?
I stay up in Laurel most nights - Sarah Lynn and I are roommies. She likes to wake up at unthinkable hours and tell me what time it is. I like to roll over and try to forget about it. tee hee. I love it when she climbs in my bed and lets me cuddle with her. She's such a delicious creature and I adore getting to spend time with her.
Grandma Linda and hang - we're like home-girls now. We go shopping, we work out together... She's great! We are so lucky to have her here -- she really takes care of us. I keep telling her we'll keep her around as kitchen staff - and she won't have to clean, just cook.
Man! That is the weirdest part, to me, about getting married. I have to like cook and stuff. I'm so used to coming home and grabbing a handful of crackers or M&M's and calling it good, throwing a plate of chips and cheese in the microwave, making a quick batch of mac 'n' cheese or heating up a steamers bag of veggies. In 25 days I'll have to put food on the table that 1. is not only edible, but 2. that has a semblance of a meal. Weird.

Ok, so it's heading for 4 o'clock... tick, tick, tick... The real problem here is my mind. I am on super over-load. I have to go to bed with my ipod or I can't fall asleep. I have a to-do list running through my mind at all hours of the day. It doesn't really help to write it down because there is always something to add and then I run through the whole list again -- it also doesn't help when I have to write down "find old to do list." Haha. Pathetic.
Oh well. I think I'll turn on my "Wedding Day" play list and try to catch a little sleep... or maybe I'll do another sheet of addresses... or maybe... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Kidding. I wish I could fall asleep like that. Nope, that's Christian - he's the typical male; talk about a pillow and he'll fall asleep.

That's Not His Religion, It's His Name

Well, and it's his religion...

So, Christian. I haven't written anything for a while because all I would have written about was Christian. AND, considering I knew from the moment I saw him on our first date, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, I figured I would try to freak him out as little as possible and NOT write about him. BUT, now that he is mine (yes, I am taking ownership), I will write all I want about him.

Christian. What do I even say? Well, he is, simply put (and so cliche' that I almost hate it), my completion. I think I had a feeling he was going to come into my life -- I mean, check out the blogging before this... afraid of marriage?! Whatever. It is all I want now. My life has finally begun and I can hardly wait to really get this show on the road! I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I can no longer imagine my life without him. I think things and he is saying them. I finish sending him a message and he has just sent the same one to me. I feel like we've had discussions about things that have never been brought up because we have the same ideas or feelings about them already. It's the most incredible feeling to be able to say or do anything and never feel judged. I have never felt so comfortable in my skin; I've never wanted to be me more than I do now.

"But wait, there's more!" I know,I know, you're thinking: CJ, how can there be more?? How can it get any better?!?

BUT Christian has the sweetest, the spunkiest, the silliest daughter, Sarah. AND I get to be her new mommy. She already calls me mommy and it melts my heart to think that I get to keep her. I don't have to send her home at the end of the day. I get to say good night and then good morning to her every day until... until forever. We, Christian and I, get to be with her on her happiest days, her goofiest and giggliest days. We get to be there for her on her hardest days, when her knees get scraped or she gets a "meh" face at school. We get to be together, the three of us. Always.

Now, you just tell me life gets better than this! Tell me that all I could have imagined, to the power of 100, could get any better than this!! I am so incredibly in love. I never knew love felt like this. Had I known, I still wouldn't have rushed it. This was worth the wait. Christian, and Sarah, were (are) so worth my wait. I always thought I would just die if I made it to 27 without being married. And here I am. I have died. I have died and gone to my slice of heaven.

"Thanks for the Lemonade."